Although I do like that word. Niche.
As he gently caressed the edges of her niche with his firm demographic….
Let’s discuss, shall we?
My most popular post with the WordPress crowd was “Even After All This Time,” a sentimental, nostalgic bit about the importance of first love and how it never really goes away. The friend who was the inspiration – and it is important for my integrity, not for purposes of blame, to say that he read it, enjoyed it and gave me his blessing to post – has not spoken to me since I published it. He simply stopped returning messages, since sometime in October. So, the last thing he read that I wrote was the one where I said he reads everything I write.
I did not mean to cause this. It kind of soured me on writing, for a bit.
But I have to respect his decision, even if it hurts. He is allowed to change his mind. Hopefully there are other reasons for the silence, but I am finished pursuing it. When people want to leave, you let them.
But what if I hadn’t written it? Would I still have my friend?
“Humiliating irony” seems like a crappy niche.
If a flattering story can cost me a friendship, what about when I’m not quite so kind?
I have good stories. I have made terrible dating choices, I’ve had toxic friendships, obligatory mother/daughter, as well as father/daughter, conflict – but looking through the lens that I do now, I just see a colorful retelling of what was a pretty mundane existence. I also see the potential to hurt people with what I write, and I am uncomfortable with that. “If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better,” is just a way to deflect responsibility.
When I find myself low on motivation, I write about not writing. I have always hated the word “blocked” for when you can’t write. If you suddenly become “unblocked,” what just came out? When I worked for the Bank of Satan, many years ago, an overzealous man in a suit tried to inspire the documentation team I managed by likening it to a “pipeline” and then spent twenty minutes comparing the whole process to “pushing something out”. My observation that we had just been called assholes productive employees is one of many reasons that I did not survive the layoffs. Asking “Yes, but what if you are Charles Manson?” when I grew tired of hearing the customer service platitude, “Perception is Reality,” is another.
“Self-defeating snark” also seems like a niche doomed to failure.
Pretty sure “shamelessly linking too many posts” is high on the list of blogging sins.
I’d rather be funny than just about anything else. I figure most people aren’t likely to learn from my bad decisions, so maybe I can help them accept, and laugh at, their own. Or laugh at mine. Whatever. Life is too short to waste on things you can’t change.